Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
