she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
