I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
