I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
