Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize