We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
