I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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