Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
