He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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