also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
