I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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