Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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