We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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