margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
