Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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