playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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