I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
