fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize