This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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