i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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