i wish starbucks made bloody marys
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
