PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
