nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
