he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize