I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
