Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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