That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize