Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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