We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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