i don't like sucking hair
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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