dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
