next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She told me I should be a condom model.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
