so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
