4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Houston, we have a squirter
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
