VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
