Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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