i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
