you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
