I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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