I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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