If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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