They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
