I heard we made out
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
no, he came in my armpit
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Green mimosas i think yes
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
