He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
two words...techno handjob
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize