Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
