bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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