we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
