i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
