Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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