there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
