So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
