He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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