Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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