Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
