dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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