He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Randomize
