this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
