butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
