My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think I won the penis lottery.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
