I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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