we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Panties = found
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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